The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize