Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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