Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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