Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
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At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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