dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Text me some of your sweat
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize