She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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