yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
