I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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