im about as happy as oj after his trial
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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