Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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