Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
