you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
