the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
