I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
kristin has been a bad kristin
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
