alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Also, beer. Big fan.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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