Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
