I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
