i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize