I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
