Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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