omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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