Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
