Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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