The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I checked into jail on foursquare
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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