I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
