In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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