I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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