Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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