i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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