you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
