Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
