Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!

(812): View more from Indiana

?

(646): View more from New York

Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?

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(646): ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE! (812): ? (646): Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that? http://tfl.nu/5o1s

Replies (37) Good night (3543) Bad night (752)
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(979): View more from Texas

Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.

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(979): Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ikem

Replies (26) Good night (844) Bad night (3765)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?

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(570): how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge? http://tfl.nu/xxhq

Replies (8) Good night (4386) Bad night (609)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"

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(774): all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you" http://tfl.nu/p8m9

Replies (19) Good night (2126) Bad night (5807)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.

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(860): his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate. http://tfl.nu/ds0z

Replies (14) Good night (928) Bad night (5228)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.

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(502): I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time. http://tfl.nu/ujel

Replies (10) Good night (5763) Bad night (897)
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(513): View more from Ohio

successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here

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(513): successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here http://tfl.nu/y491

Replies (17) Good night (3985) Bad night (763)
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(253): View more from Washington

You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.

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(253): You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow. http://tfl.nu/kcye

Replies (8) Good night (3782) Bad night (823)
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(347): View more from New York

He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.

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(347): He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for. http://tfl.nu/v3jd

Replies (30) Good night (4460) Bad night (1517)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.

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(505): I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight. http://tfl.nu/l9kd

Replies (5) Good night (4022) Bad night (868)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..

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(814): My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime.. http://tfl.nu/op0p

Replies (2) Good night (847) Bad night (244)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff

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(843): So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff http://tfl.nu/ddxb

Replies (6) Good night (965) Bad night (297)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.

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(678): Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are. http://tfl.nu/af34

Replies (4) Good night (705) Bad night (290)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.

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(615): I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher. http://tfl.nu/1rku

Replies (4) Good night (416) Bad night (489)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"

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(202): I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later" http://tfl.nu/n53s

Replies (0) Good night (583) Bad night (225)

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