Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Just be blunt and say drink from my dick

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  (757): Just be blunt and say drink from my dick http://tfl.nu/8snw
  Replies (1) Good night (1304) Bad night (547)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.

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  (405): And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch. http://tfl.nu/1xo5
  Replies (12) Good night (706) Bad night (1733)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out

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  (440): planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out http://tfl.nu/zgao
  Replies (22) Good night (1587) Bad night (3467)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.

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  (513): Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule. http://tfl.nu/z55h
  Replies (25) Good night (3807) Bad night (951)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?

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  (608): do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life? http://tfl.nu/au0e
  Replies (13) Good night (5127) Bad night (1005)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables

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  (301): I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables http://tfl.nu/82j1
  Replies (3) Good night (912) Bad night (2431)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.

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  (859): i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far. http://tfl.nu/eadn
  Replies (13) Good night (3446) Bad night (740)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.

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  (814): Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever. http://tfl.nu/him8
  Replies (2) Good night (1306) Bad night (1428)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?

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  (414): It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself? http://tfl.nu/nwby
  Replies (6) Good night (554) Bad night (1415)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.

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  (312): Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila. http://tfl.nu/u7b7
  Replies (2) Good night (1185) Bad night (437)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...

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  (360): Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one... http://tfl.nu/mmlz
  Replies (2) Good night (779) Bad night (369)
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  (897): View more from

  i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.

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  (897): i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight. http://tfl.nu/elh4
  Replies (8) Good night (740) Bad night (314)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?

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  (503): Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I? http://tfl.nu/fev7
  Replies (5) Good night (388) Bad night (775)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.

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  (856): I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing. http://tfl.nu/phds
  Replies (1) Good night (637) Bad night (217)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.

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  (609): I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack. http://tfl.nu/ai2z
  Replies (1) Good night (1199) Bad night (212)

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