Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I hate having morals and standards the next morning.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(501): View more from Arkansas

so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...

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(516): View more from New York

He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore

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(713): View more from Texas

I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack

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(425): View more from Washington

Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"

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