We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.