wrigley field is MILF paradise
Duck Duck Cougar?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities