My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."