I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
