Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
