So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Don't say a word.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.