Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
