He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize