Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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