She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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