I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
