once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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