i don't like sucking hair
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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