They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Im part way to drunk.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize