Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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