It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
you never un-have a 4some
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
