I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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