that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
