I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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