areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
