Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
