Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
