you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
