it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
