I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
