I feel great
I just peed on a car
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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