If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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