Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
