I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
