Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
