Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
