the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
