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• (619): View more from California

  That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.

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• (435): View more from Utah

  Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.

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• 

  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (479): View more from Arkansas

  The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.

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• (438): View more from Quebec

  I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.

  (1-438): View more from Quebec

  God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.

  (438): View more from Quebec

  Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying

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• (903): View more from Texas

  THEYRE FUCKING GOLD

  (1-903): View more from Texas

  Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.

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