Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

you dont need a face to have sex

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.

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(305): View more from Florida

We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.

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(503): View more from Oregon

The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(607): View more from New York

Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.

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(718): View more from New York

I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut

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(972): View more from Texas

Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.

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(904): View more from Florida

Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.

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