sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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