She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Enjoy the penises
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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