you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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