Buhtt sex?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
