i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
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You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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