you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
