Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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